psychosis is traumatizing

I finally got some sleep after being prescribed Trazodone. I went for a few weeks without sleeping more than 2 hrs in a stretch. Some days I couldn't even function enough to have a bath. The Trazodone only works for me for 4 hrs tho. I slept 4, took another pill and slept maybe 3.5. I still feel a bit drowsy. I'm hoping to actually be able to get something accomplished today.

I've started talk therapy with a p. nurse. I think this will be good for me b/c I keep crying when my Psy brings up my psychosis. I don't really even know why I cry about it. I still cry about my godmothers death when it is brought up and it happened when I was 8. I think b/c no one ever talked to me about it. I think finding out you have psychosis is traumatizing. Esp. for me b/c I had it for 17 yrs. 17 years of my life were a lie. I felt like I had lost my entire personality. Nothing I thought was real, was real. I'm no longer interested in things that I was fascinated with before (like aliens, conspiracy theory ect.) I am embarrassed to run into anyone I have known over the last 17 years b/c of all the lies I told them that I thought were true. This is anyone from high school until a few years ago. Psychosis was over half of my life. I've been out of the hospital for 2.5 years and this is the first person willing to talk to me about it, or acknowledge that it is traumatizing. Everyone else (drs. nurses, social workers, group home staff) all acted like 'so your out of the hospital why aren't you accomplishing anything' 'so your out of the hospital your fine now' as if there were no more problems.

On another note-does anyone get tremors from meds? I told my psy about it and she wrote it down but said nothing about it. I'm worried it's a sign of parkinsons. I read that it's a early warning sign that often appears before 40.