Meds

I had psychosis for 17 years before being put on meds. I understand why some people don't want to be on meds. For years my psychosis was seeing and hearing angels and faeries. I loved it. I thought I was psychic and special. Even now that I know what it was-if that was all being schizophrenic meant in my life I wouldn't take meds. I would actually like to live among the faeries. The problem is that it took a much darker turn in my life to where I thought my house and thoughts were bugged. I couldn't have a single private thought. I thought I was watched 24/7 even on the toilet and in the shower. I thought people were breaking into my basement and drugging me, threatening to kill me. You just can't survive living with that level of psychosis everyday-I think even if you were somewhat aware it wasn't real-and certainly you can't if you believe it. I am scared that that will happen to me again and start a downward spiral. Losing my mind and housing. Again. So I take my meds everyday.