ideas again

So my mind is going but I'm having creative ideas again.

I think it is true when they say people with mental illness are more creative than 'normals.' The more out of it I get the more ideas I get for art and writing. After starting medication I did not draw or write anything until around 1 1/2 weeks ago. I started the meds in Sept. 2009. I don't really know how to finish any of the writing I've started-that has always been a big problem for me. Ideas can rain down but at some point you need the endings to come to you. So this is the good news.

The bad news. With this comes the fear that I may slip back into psychosis so bad that I'm unable to look after myself or recognize that I'm sick. Every time I slip I think of this. I finally have a apt I can afford after being in a  group home; before that the hospital; before that a basement suite that was so much I couldn't afford my own groceries. I had to go to the food bank. It was the cheapest suite I could find and I only had 2 days to find a place. I do live in one of the most expensive cities in the world. I'm settled now and I don't want anything to change.

Some of the things I'm dealing with:

voices, the feeling bugs are on me, hearing random things, fear of being secretly video taped as well as some others. To be honest if I had the assurance these things wouldn't get worse I could live with them. Before meds I lived with this stuff for years. It's not the little things it's hitting the bottom. I'm sort of prepared to go to my psy tomorrow and tell her I don't want to change my meds. I'll just live with this stuff and see where it goes. I don't know if that's wise or not. I'm afraid to see where it goes but I want to be creative. What to do?