17 Years of Psychosis part 1

I had psychosis for 17 years before I was put in the hospital. It started when I was in high school. (going back to about grade 1 I thought I was being haunted by ghosts-I don't know if that a bit psychotic or not) I thought I was being drugged and sexually assaulted by a family member I was living with. I thought my mother was in on it but wouldn't help me. I told people about this and no one helped me. Looking back it is completely fucked up. I told my best friend and she believed that this was happening to me but offered no help (she was only a teen-what was she to do?) I phoned a family friend who is a psychiatric nurse and she told me it was my 'sexual hormones' which made me think she was accusing me of being sexually attracted to this family member. She thought I was fantasizing about him. (to this day I can not stand that woman. she should not be  allowed to practice in that profession. no other p-nurse I have met would have ever acted that way) I was taken to a psychiatrist (ok there was that effort to help) but we only went once. I did not trust him at all- didn't like the looks of him so I told him nothing about what had gone on. He kept asking me if I was hearing voices. In my head I rolled my eyes and thought oh god this quack thinks I'm a schizophrenic. I wasn't hearing voices at that time so I kept saying no. He spoke to my mom alone and we left. I went to my regular Dr. about not sleeping. He told me I could have some sleeping pills which I had been asking for for ages. After the first night on them I did not feel good. My head felt like it was swelling up then deflating-an odd thing. I decided I couldn't take the pills anymore. I stopped and no one said boo about it. A few months later I went to a fill in Dr. He asked me why I had been put on anti-psychotics. I told him I wasn't I was on sleeping pills-he said no that's not what that was. When he left the room I took my file. The psychiatrist and written that I was schizophrenic and had put me on anti-psychotics. My mother and all the dr.s knew this and no one told me. This is something I can not forgive my mother for or that dr (the dr later lost his license for something unrelated to me) How can you not tell someone about their own illness? Would you do that to someone with cancer?

I will have to finish this later...